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When I was pregnant with my first child, I wanted to arm myself with as much information and knowledge as possible about breastfeeding. Being a Filipina mom placed me in a position where there was lots of advice (well-meaning but sometimes downright wrong hehehe) offered to me about a lot of things related to motherhood. Nevertheless, with the wonderful world of the Internet, I found myself relatively knowledgeable about some things related to parenting and motherhood, particularly BREASTFEEDING. Although I do not consider myself an expert, I'm proud to say that with what I know, I have been able to achieve my goal of PURELY breastfeeding my kids (the eldest till 2 yrs and 4 mos and the youngest up to the present - she just turned 1!) Yehey! :) And all these years, one of the things that kept me going in my breastfeeding journey is hearing INSPIRING stories from other nursing moms. :)
Thus, I have decided to try to come out with a series of True Breastfeeding Stories here, entitled BFFs Unite (BreastFeeding Filipinas Unite). I aim to gather stories from nursing moms, specifically Filipinas (though other nationalities are welcome too!) that will help other moms, especially those who are "breastfeeding-challenged" (hehehe) to commit to nursing their kids despite all the difficulties they may face. I also want to do this in commemoration of World Breastfeeding Month.
In Part 1 of this series, I'd like to share Mommy Maybelle's story with you (with her permission of course!). Her true-to-life story is an example for all moms everywhere - to never give up giving your child/ren Mom's Purest Love! :)
Against All Odds (July 11, 2007)
Five years ago, I was diagnosed with breast cancer and had to have an entire breast surgically removed. Being young and single then, I felt all my plans and aspirations for my future were totally wiped away. I completely had no idea what would become of my life – whether or not I would end up having a husband and children of my own. I was told that the chemotherapy could adversely affect my fertility. Definitely, the capacity to breastfeed was nowhere in the list of my concerns about the future back then.
In a span of three years, I was healed of my cancer, got married to my unconditionally loving husband (who became my boyfriend soon after we discovered the cancer), and got pregnant with our first child. Aaaahhhh, my life has been blessed with such wonderful miracles!
As I reached the third trimester of my pregnancy, I began to wonder about whether or not I’d be able to breastfeed. I had one single breast left, which isn’t even in its own complete form because I had a biopsy done on that remaining side – meaning, there was a possibility that some of my milk ducts have been severed. The painful realization that I may actually not be able to nourish my baby with my own milk hit me very, very hard. I longed so much to experience that beautiful bond I’d hear about among mothers who breastfeed their babies!
In my determination to try to breastfeed despite the slim chance I had, I set out to learn more about breastfeeding. I researched about it from books and on the internet and took a free seminar on breastfeeding. The breastfeeding teacher during the seminar shared with us the many myths that cause women to give up breastfeeding during the first few weeks of their babies’ lives… I was raring to go! I totally prepared myself emotionally to be strong when the time comes for me to work it out – at least I thought I was prepared enough!
On April 30, 2005, I gave birth to our beautiful baby daughter, Sophie Therese, via emergency caesarian section. She was borderline premature so our pediatrician had her kept in the incubator for the first 36 hours. I was going crazy in my head! All my ideals for the beginning of motherhood were washed away.
“What happened to all my plans of nursing my baby immediately after birth?”
“How can I breastfeed her by demand when I’m here in the room and she’s all the way there in the nursery?”
“Oh no, she’s already been given formula! How can my milk supply meet her demand now?”
Finally, after 36 hours, we were able to room her in. I did all that I learned from the seminar and from all the information I read about breastfeeding, thinking, “Okay, I already know what to do. I can do this!” Oh boy, little did I know it was only the beginning of the most difficult days (and weeks) ahead!
That night, Sophie kept crying and crying and crying, and still, crying. As soon as I would put her back down on the bed after a feeding, she would be rooting around for the nipple again and begin crying once more. We wondered, “Why can’t she seem satisfied?”
I was getting comments from nurses, doctors, and family members that my milk wasn’t enough. I thought I was being a bad mother by insisting that I breastfeed her exclusively. Yet from all the books my husband and I read, we knew in our heads we were doing the right thing. The only thing that kept us going was all the information we got from our research. I was truly thankful that my husband was completely supportive. He said, “Look, if I feel that my daughter is starving, I’d be the first one to tell you to stop breastfeeding. But you and I know that she is not.” Had he given me any sense of doubt as all the other people did, I would have given up in a snap.
Two more weeks came and the struggle went on. According to the books, Sophie’s constant cry of hunger was just out of a normal growth spurt and nature’s way of ensuring that my milk supply will continue to meet her growing demand as I keep on responding to her every “request” for milk. To me, this meant, nursing for as long as one hour and forty minutes and feeding her again fifteen minutes after I finished the last feeding – round the clock. I didn’t know how to nurse lying down then so I would sleep sitting up in bed while nursing her. I just kept saying to myself, “This, too, shall pass. Konting tiis na lang. [Just have to bear it a bit more.]”
I continued to hear from family members that my milk wasn’t enough because of the frequency Sophie was feeding. And for many weeks, this was tearing me apart. Every now and then, I would end up giving a little bit of milk formula – which only made things worse each time because all the more my milk supply couldn’t catch up with Sophie’s demand. Finally, my husband and I made a pact, “This is it. We’re doing exclusive breastfeeding no matter what!” It was only after we made this firm decision that things slowly started getting better.
When Sophie was three months old, her cheeks were unmistakably round and puffy. By the time she was five months old, everyone just wanted to chew on her chunky legs and take a bite out of her chipmunk cheeks. I was also getting a lot more rest than the previous months. All that talk about my not having enough milk was long gone.
I finally met a support group for breastfeeding mothers facilitated by Best Friends in Breastfeeding. During that first session I attended, I heard all the stories of all the other moms about their beginning weeks of breastfeeding and saw that all that I was going through was absolutely normal after all! Had I heard the real stories of all these other women during the time I was struggling myself, all the information we read from books and the internet would have supported me with so much more truth. How I wish I had met this group earlier!
Today, I have a very bright, happy, and confident toddler who loves to explore the world in wide-eyed wonder. Sophie is now 26 months old and still drinks the best milk she can ever get – Mama’s milk – and she doesn’t even need more than a single, scarred breast.
If you would like to share your True Breastfeeding Story, please feel free to share it by emailing me at kristina.s.rodriguez@gmail.com :) Or post a comment below! :) Thanks! BFFs Unite! :)
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